More Than Kind of A Bummer

It has been an incredibly frustrating couple of months, and I am going to blame God for it.
You see, things were rolling along just fine, life was pretty normal at the old Beastly homestead...and then I asked the missus a question. "Do you think we should put the house back on the market"? We talked about throughout that Sunday so many months ago, and then, that afternoon, as I was sitting and listening to my good friend TDogg talk about his life, my phone rang. It was our former realtor, and someone wanted to look at our house, even though it was not for sale at the moment.
Well, jump in Doc Brown's DeLorean and here we are today. Our house sold last week, and tonight we going house shopping. Missus and I both agree that this time is the last time we move. I am not sure we really unpacked while living in Pana.
And there is so much more. Pastor and family are moving on as well. I wrote this before he announced it, started to post it as "Kind of a Bummer", then hurriedly pulled it when the missus reminded me that he not told everyone.

"I would have to say that last night came as no surprise. Over the last two years I have watched our pastor suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, caused from his tour of duty in Iraq in the early 1990s. So, when he announced to us last night that he had given the Pana Church board his resignation, I was not surprised. My hope is all about him, that his health improves, that he moves somewhere with less strain (and maybe a Hardee’s), and that he continues to be a pastor. Of course, I want to think about his wife, son, daughter, and future son-in-law, but I am going to be completely selfish and focus on my friend and his needs for a while.
A lot of people never become friends with their pastor, but I did. A part of it was our working relationship, first with me as Sunday School superintendent and later as his Associate Pastor. Another part was that my wife and I live a block away, so we are always around each other. But the biggest part of it was that we play off each other so well.
He first got a taste of my oddness when he made the mistake of inviting me to watch junior run in a track meet. As we drove through a small town, high school cheerleaders were selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts on the corner, and I referred to them as dougnut whores (I had originally censored this, but who cares, I said it, it's over) . It was the first time he punched me. Later, at a creepy A&W/Long John Silvers hybrid, I asked aloud if A&W ever thought of making cheese cuds instead of cheese curds, because then cows could enjoy their own by-product. That was the second time he punched me. I have been hit a lot over the years.
But none was as worth it as the card I gave him last year on pastor's appreciation day/week. It had an old photo on the front of a man holding a donkey. Inside it said "Thanks for saving my ass." I took the beating, it was worth it.
Then there is the other side of the friendship. He was there when Mom died, and later lovingly did the funeral for us. He has endured all my pain, very Christ-like, as I have seen my family break up over the last three years. I have cried with him, and he with me, in pews, in Sunday school rooms, in living rooms, in cars, in hospital waiting rooms, and anywhere I needed him. He has been there through the death of Uncle Roger, my friend Mike, Kim’s dad, and so much more. When I told him that we were struggling financially, he came up with a gift to help us through. He and mrs. pastor let us use their garage to have a rummage sale, because, if you have seen ours, you know why. He has been yelled at by me and I cussed at least once, but he never gives up. He helped us move into the Pana house, has repaired ceiling fans and lights, pushed us out of snow drifts and one really stupid snow related incident, fed us spiral hams, tolerated the cats, helped us through our struggles that finally ended with Andrew living with us, drove us places, let us borrow his vehicles, and been there every single time I called.
Pana Church, we have had it really good.
The Illinois District has no idea what they have with him. He has an awesome family, (I even yelled at mrs. pastor and junior once, and still feel bad about the mrs. pastor incident), an awesome Mom that tolerated all my visits after my Mom passed, a Dad that he worries for and cares deeply about, sisters that he loves, soccer kids from years of coaching and managing, and so many more.
He is what we all need to strive harder to be like if we want to be "imitators of Christ".
Everytime a new diet soda comes out, he will be the first person I call. Anytime a hot Dorito’s chip is seen in a Moto-Mart or Quick Trip, I will buy him a bag and send them wherever he may be. When I get a good relic or autograph from a pack of baseball cards, I will call him to rub it in.
And when he wants to quote “Fletch” for the millionth time (I dont like the movie, when will he get that) or stump me with some other random movie reference I expect a phone call. Wherever he goes...
So, in addition to us moving out of Pana, the church is also losing their pastor. As I have told people over the last week, WE are not dying, just moving closer to work, gaining some money since we wont be filling up the gas tank as much, avoiding the winter driving, and living in a town that has a bookstore or two.
I will miss the little house in Pana. I worked a lot to get it ready to sale, and if I could, I would move it to Capitol City. Missus worked hard to prep it for new owners, and it has become home for us, the boy, and our insane cat posse.
The house has been with us through tornadoes that ate our trees, the vandalizing rotten thieving neighbors, parties and cook-outs, lots of landscaping that cannot go with us (okay, some of the rock are going), sneaking down the alley to take the pizza coupons off our neighbors Casey's Pizza boxes, and trains.
Pana has meant 25 cent a gallon water, bingo at the VFW, the great value movie theater, Pizza Man, Pizza Hut, a few wrestling pay-per-views with friends, board games with the wonderful Becky, T-Dogg and his many times he helped me with a project (cranberry wall in living room was the best), Big Nick (watching him go from a huge goof to someone I think will surprise us all has been great), the boy (from high school to college to Kenya, from immature to spiritual leader, from being the boy to being my son), pastor and mrs. pastor and our Christmas gift exchanges, finding the Christmas pickle with different people every Christmas, becoming friends with Jason and not just being unfamiliar cousins, losing Mom, Roger, David, Laverne, the boy's grandparents, Joe, Bob W., Ted, Bob and Betty, Betty R., Catherine, and so many others, watching some come and some go at the church, through it all, Pana has been a great adventure.
As to people I will miss...
Pooh, a great friend, a great worker in the church, unappreciated once, but now people know she is a worker. Love her mom, her son, little Katie, and her. I will not be mowing that lawn this summer.
Ash...watching her mature from a little girl to a spiritual leader in the youth group has been incredible. She is one of my favorite people, and I love picking on her. If she thinks I am done, she is so wrong. I look forward to a long friendship, with no trashcans getting thrown.
Ash's dad...we do not fight anymore, please be aware of that. He is one of the people that I watch, because he is such a good dad. He works hard, he is shrewd, and he still scares me a little. I really do respect him.
The Ramsey family...my goodness, was that little girl in the prom photos Bri? I truly love this family, and only wish they lived closer. They allowed this fat guy to swim in their pool, eat their food, watch wrestling, and so much more. Bri is one of a kind, and some day will break hearts, or she may already be doing that. Do the boys in Ramsey know that her dad owns a lot of guns? And Nich...always there with a hug. Watching his impression of pastor will always be one of my happiest memories. To Heather and Shane....I love you guys, dont be strangers.
Chad...I miss you. I am so proud that you are at U of I...You are one of my other favorite kids. We can still do Christmas trips anytime you want. Except now I will be in Capitol City, so we wont have to go far to shop for Chia Pets.
T-Dogg...from a guy who needed me to someone I needed. Now one of my best friends. Anytime, anywhere, I am always around for you. You have unlimited potential, and need to follow your own heart sometimes. It may get you into trouble, but it may also take you where you need to be.
Kanye...chin up, go back to your roots, and start being spiritually what you were a few years ago. You (and Destiny) have the most compassionate hearts in the church, and seem to care about everyone. The last year has been hard for you as a family and as individuals, but you can bounce back. You are one of the best kids in that church, dont forget that.
Brett...we have been through so much...and because of you, I have my bestest little friend, Cayden. You are more than a friend, you are my brother.
Kent...keep growing and never give up. You and your family are important to me, but you even more so. You need to be the leader, the spiritual leader, and I have always believed you have that capability. Just keep trying, praying, and working towards that goal. Kyle could not have gotten two more dedicated people to serve as his parents than you and Becky.
Wardell...come to Capitol City anytime, it did not stop you when we lived in taylorville, dont let it stop you now. You are one of our closest friends, and that should never stop. If you want a key to our new home, that can be arranged, because someone will still need to take care of the insane cat posse.
Auntie Sheila...where did that Southern accent come from? thank you for so much, and get another pet soon.
Bill and Ivy...occasionally I want a pie. Once in a while wont kill me.
Steve Wood...this last year has been good....I am glad we started talking. Best to you and the family
Steve and Jan...Jan, you are always my prayer warrior. From a long time when you made me pizza deals, to the use of your trailer, to the monetary gifts, to your friendship, you are very special to me, always will be.
Phillips...I will miss the talks as well. And the laughs. And I just started to like Jake...
To Jim and Big Nick...thanks for helping us sell the house.
Kayla and Lindsay...I still want hugs when I come to visit.
DThompson...lose the house soon...remember we were in your wedding, so that means we have to be friends forever.
Cory...I have been very impressed with your spiritual growth in the last year. Keep it up.
Tonya, Carol and family...Hugs everytime we visit, or else I am driving to Assumption. We can meet at Casey's.
Paula...whiffleball anytime.
Mike and Sue and Betty and that other woman that works at Oak Street Station...no Sancho will ever taste as good as yours. Thanks for moving us 5 years ago, for letting us use the medi-van, and for the early morning camp devotions. And betty...I will truly miss visiting with you at the restaurant. And Mike's sister...stop picking on people.
If you feel that I slighted you, please dont. My fingers hurt from typing.
I will tell you at church before we leave.
Let's have a potluck so I can be first in line for once. Finally, unlimited deviled eggs.

Kind of a bummer

My first Book Review.

Mere Churchianity by the Internet Monk, Michael Spencer. My first book review and I pick a book by someone who has passed away. How can I ever tell the internet monk about my own Dairy Queen incident?Michael Spencer had me from the beginning when he related his story of the Dairy Queen incident. If there are Christians out there that cannot relate their own version of taking church kids, or for that matter, church people, out in public and then watching them act like completly crazy, have never been out of the house, borderline certifiable nuts, then they are lying. Spencer blows the incident off until receiving a letter from an employee of the D.Q. who notes how bad an example he and his group have set for people on the fringes of the church.I have been there. I have seen people walk away because we, and I include myself here, act like fools and forget that we are supposed to be examples of Christ. Or maybe it should be "like" Christ. Another chapter that makes the book is "When Church Signs Lie." My own church recently had a little controversy when our church sign ended up on the CNN website. The message said "He Lives. He Reigns. End of Discussion." A lot of people commented, and the comments hit home. "So you believe that He live and reigns, but I don't, and we can not discuss it?" I have always believed we have an open door at the church, but that sign made it look like we were close-minded, and doors closed to others. I am sorry that Michael Spencer is gone. I am glad he left this book for me to now share with some people that just don't like church. They love the idea of God, Jesus, and love, but they just don't see it in the way the church lives. Maybe Spencer's message will help them out in the process.

END OF THE YEAR OBSERVATION

There were many ideas on what to write on for the final time in 2010. It has been another year of loss, of gain, of things left behind, and new things acquired.
First, let me play Ann Landers for someone. What do you feel God is telling you about your future? All I see is missionary when I look at photos of you in Kenya. Do you really need a test to tell you what’s in your heart already?
Second, and this may tough for some of you, I am going to talk about the Nazarene District that I am a part of. Pastor recently asked me if I would find another Nazarene church to attend if my wife and I moved to another town. The answer was no. Can I ask all the ‘renes who read this blog a question...When was the last time you passionately cared about something or someone? I don’t see it anymore. Our leadership in the district, they are nice enough, but they are not living the big picture. One pastor uses the line “I am just a poor inerrant preacher”, when we all know he is not poor. He does not know poor. Come over sometime, we will go visit someone who lives on less than $2,000 a year. Another leader claims he is overworked. Doing what? I recently wrote some of the leadership and expressed dissatisfaction with their overpaid positions. One actually moved and is growing a new church. I commend him. The others...there is no change. Do you pay attention to what your church leadership, what your district leadership, is doing? Because they are not doing enough. (If you disagree, there is a comment spot on the blog, please do not e-mail me, let my readers see what you have to say about this) The great commission, given by Jesus, was pretty simple.
18-20Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age."
But do we do that as leaders? Are we training? I wanted to be trained, and instead I am forgotten by the supposed education committee in the district. Where is the leadership, where is it, I don’t see it, do you? I am not trying to be mean; I am trying to say something about a problem that I see that needs fixing. Can we fix it at Team Day, with the same old seminars telling us what we need to do, and then not going out and doing it? I wanted to be a part of the district, but that fizzled due to a lack of leadership. No one wants to take responsibility; they just seem to want the money and the title. The district wants to point fingers, but they don’t want help. I want to love them as brothers, but I am so disappointed it is hard to do. Who are they accountable to? One of them told me that he reported to this board, that board, etc....But what about the laypeople, what about Christ? Are you accountable on Sunday morning when the lost are not in our churches, when people in Illinois are going to hell while you preach pithy little sermons about how poor you are? I am not buying it anymore.
Matthew West tells us about “His Own Little World” with a population of one. And then his eyes are opened and he sees a starving and homeless widow and his population increases to two. Are we in our little world, or are we seeing the whole world outside our church doors? Are we wearing rose-colored glasses? COME ON DISTRICT LEADERS, CHALLENGE ME. I DARE YOU. Come to the Pana church and face us as a congregation, tell us what you are doing. Tell us it is all good, that souls are being saved, that you are building leaders, that you are baptizing, and instructing, and not just paying people to park in their living rooms, their little church offices, doing nothing, while the world dies outside.
I am looking forward to 2011. I am hoping that people grow, change, and try to make a difference.
There was a lot of personal loss this year, friends and family, and they will all be missed. Goodbye to all of them was hard. I look forward to the someday reunions.

It's The Most Wonderful Time...for some people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNOM7WOGGUw
First, I highly recommend this video.

It's Christmas, and so far, so good. I have not really gotten depressed yet, though people around me seem to be there.
It is a tough time of year. The loss of my uncle, my dear friend's parents, family friends, and church friends has made it a tough year. Financially, we have struggled, but I see the rewards everyday. They are not materialistic, they are watching a young man get an education, ending his fall semester with over 90% in each class. So the money we are spending is worth it. Physically, there have been a few issues, but nothing that cannot be handled with medicine and doctors and watching what we do.
I have listened to many friends and family members talk about loss, about loneliness, about hurt and pain and suffering. And Christmas just drudges it up for many of them.
But then I really paid attention to the Christmas story this year. How a young girl found out she was carrying the salvation of the world, God's son, and how she had to tell the man she was to marry, and somehow make him believe this outrageous story.
And how Joseph, somewhere lost in the annals of history, had to reconcile himself into believing this concept, that his young bride-to-be was the mother of God, and he was the earthly father. And then they had to flee their home and hide out in Egypt for several years so their baby would not be killed because a crazed king believed it the right thing to do.
And I think, if they could get through it, then I can get through my life and its ups and downs. That I dont have to be the grinch that has to hurt others to make myself feel good, that I dont have to put people down, be so mean-spirited (and I am guilty of that very thing this time of year), but I can try to be better.
This year the church gave over 150 kids Christmas presents. Plus, we had leftovers and gave more kids a better Christmas. There was one woman that seems ungrateful for the free toys. But then I look back and think how hard it must be for some people to accept charity, when they make struggle all year to make ends meet. It does not boost my ego to give, it makes me feel good, but maybe that is not what some people need to see this time of year.
Maybe they need to see that we all struggle with things that weigh us down, hurt us, make us regret.
And maybe we all need to remember that everyone has gone through hardship, even a young couple all those years ago in Bethlehem.

Random Things I Like (next week, Random Things I don't Like)

For this week, let’s talk about my random likes for 2010.

First, I really like Glee. I have read people’s reasons for not watching, and they are just stupid. I like the show, and I still believe there are really good Sunday School lessons to be had in the weekly content.
This week’s episode was the Christmas episode, and it reminded me why I like Artie and Brittney so much as characters. She wants a gift from a Santa she still believes in, and he wants to help her believe. I like them as a couple, and I like the show.
Second, I love Raising Hope, the show on immediately after Glee. It is funny, so well written, and will probably get cancelled. That is too bad, because Martha Plimpton shines, Garrett Dillahunt is so funny, and Cloris Leachman is scary funny. It’s hard to believe that she once took Mrs. Garrett’s place on the unfunny “The Facts of Life”.
Third, I have become a huge fan of Joe Hill. His two books, “Heart-Shaped Box” and “Horns” were both very well written. He may be the son of Stephen King, but he is nothing like his dad in writing.
Fourth, I love people and their giving nature this time of year. There are those unsung heroes that give toys to Angel Tree, or money, and never tell who they are. And then there are the ones I know about. Who have already blessed a lot of kids with their gifts. We decided to stay in Pana this year for several reasons, and we now have over 140 kids signed up. God knew what He was doing but having us stay home this year.
Fifth, can I recommend “Good Will Hunting”? I know it is an older movie, but I just rewatched it and it is so good. I even like Robin Williams in it.
Lastly, let me say a goodbye to 2010. I will miss nothing about it, except a friend I lost earlier this year.

SEE YOU IN THE PARKING LOT AT THE CHURCH

If you read last week’s blog, then the title should tell you everything you need to know. Have a GREAT THANKSGIVING. I will.